Strains of Chariots of Fire were not reverberating. There were no crowd cheers (in my head). I couldn’t hear Jillian Michaels on my shoulder screaming to keep moving, you can do this.
You know what there was? Pain. Sweat. Trouble breathing. Praying for it to end. Ejected lungs flopping on the floor in front of the treadmill.
Well… maybe not the prayer.
Truthfully, the days that everything is in sync, muscles pump fluidly, feet don’t shuffle but fly, grace is just there (except in my midsection which is still very jiggly), those are the days where I feel badass, that I can do this, that I am someone for whom this is worth doing. I am worth it.
Then there are days like today, where I felt gangly, my shorts kept creeping and it just reminded me that even if I could afford Lululemon running pants, I couldn’t FIT into their biggest size. I couldn’t catch a breathing rhythm, and my old car accident injury in my right foot was causing me to underpronate, so I’d try to compensate and end up overcompensating. My hair was in my eyes. One of my earbuds is broken and I can’t really afford the power cord to my gifted gently used iShuffle right now let alone that plus a new set of earbuds. Normally the earbud thing isn’t a problem, unless there’s one coworker there who cranks the in-house stereo loud. I can’t get into a run with the Allman Brothers’ Ramblin Man drowning out my Muse songs. And to top it off, I forgot to take home my clothes after my last workout and they’d become quite…savory in their bag as they dried of the sweat from my last workout. So every now and then I’d get a whiff of myself and nearly pass out. I feel sorry for the kind girl from Marketing on the treadmill next to me. Sorry, R!
Every step resulted in a whimper from my shins and calves as I deal with the shin splints. Last week I wore a painful pair of boots and my toes are still whining about it. I hate that I even need toes. Today didn’t go well and I’m still trying to get comfortable here with this ice pack.
So what’s a miserable runner to do? Sign up for a 5K. Holy shit, you guys. What’ve I done?