So many times in the past, when I’ve tried to get fit, lose weight, be healthier, I’m strong for a few weeks and then I reach the edge and fall off, the end, no more motivation = no more exercise or healthy eating choices.
Not this time.
I am actually enjoying myself. I feel great. I love getting off the treadmill feeling accomplished and badass and noodly limbed. It means I’ve done something. The weight, it’s budging and even in the right direction!
So why haven’t I been around, having apparently found the edge of the Earth and fallen off? Well, I think it was shin splints. My shins hurt something fierce and the recommended course of action for them is rest. Well, shit, pardoné moi. Just when I was getting a groove, increasing my stamina and feeling like I was making progress and that I might actually be able to run more than 1.5 miles at some point. I was not happy. And yet, I am in this for the long haul. I do not want to use this as an excuse to be derailed. So I took 2 weeks off. I hated every minute of it.
Then, Monday found me back on the treadmill. I felt like a gangly chicken with Tourette’s of the Wing the way I was running, all flailing and uncoordinated. I only went a mile. I walked about half of it. I backslid something fierce in my stamina and I could tell I lost a lot of ground in just 2 weeks. But instead of getting discouraged and making it become the reason to quit, I made it my reason to keep going, to get back into the groove, to start over with the stamina building. And you know what? A mile feels just as badass as more distance if I’ve put everything into it that I can. Just as I know ten miles will feel badass when I get to that point.
So instead of finding the edge and falling off as I always have in the past, something clicked in me and I think I finally realized this healthy lifestyle is just as rounded as the Earth, that if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, there is no edge, just like there is no spoon. It is what I make of it, and I’m going to make the most of it.